just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
