Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
