no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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