My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
