sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
