You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
