It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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