I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
