I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
