It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
