I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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