nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
