So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
