I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
