Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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