i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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