Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
