brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he was CRYING into my vagina
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
