I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
