her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
