Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
