I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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