nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
