there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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