i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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