3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
