Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
