your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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