Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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