Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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