i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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