I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
