I cut my penus on the lid.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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