So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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