What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
