All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
