He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize