Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
