therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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