my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
