I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
