im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
