her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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