I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
