There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
