Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
