Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
