the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
