My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
