are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
