I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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