I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
