I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
